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- I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
- Emo Phillips, Neuropsychology: Clinical and Experimental Foundations
- Equations are the devil's sentences.
- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
- The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.
- Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 02-01-09
- Good taste is the enemy of comedy.
- Mel Brooks (1926 - )
- Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
- Bill Gates (1955 - ), Time Magazine, January 13, 1996
- The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred.
- Meredith Willson, The Music Man
- The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.
- Seth MacFarlane, The Family Guy
- I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930), The Sign of Four, A Scandal in Bohemia
- That's what college is for - getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you're forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of 'em on the wall in my room.
- Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, 01-04-07
- It's not a matter of whether or not someone's watching over you. It's just a question of their intentions.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, 03-24-07
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