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- If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don't like you.
- Tina Fey, Golden Globes Acceptance Speech, 2009
- When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it's not that instant kind of funny.
- Tina Fey, ABC-TV World News Now
- You can be a little bit darker and rougher on the stage, partly because when you're in the theater, people have come to see you, and so they kind of know what they're in for. In television, you are sort of sneaking into people's homes. So, I think you can be a little bit darker on stage.
- Tina Fey, Interview from Second City, 2008
- Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!
- Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan, Big Bang Theory, The Agreement Dissection, 2011
- That's the funny thing about havin' a kid. They come with their own set of problems; make everything else you were worried about seem kinda silly.
- Greg Garcia, Raising Hope, Dead Tooth, 09-28-10
- For aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act I, sc. 1
- School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come.
- Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 10-09-11
- Babies are cool, until you've done everything to do with 'em and you get bored. That's why T.V. shows about babies don't last more than a year.
- Gregory Thomas Garcia, Alan Kirschenbaum, Raising Hope, Burt Rocks, November 30, 2010
- Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.
- George Meany
- We always felt as if every show was the most important thing in the world, but knew if we bombed, we'd live.
- Raymond Joseph Teller, Fury Letter written to Brian Brushwood, 10-18-93
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