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- That's the great thing about being in the third grade. If you've got one polysyllabic adjective, everyone thinks you're a genius.
- John Green, Vlogbrothers, My Name Is John Green. And I am a Nerd., 10-30-07
- The United States Congress, like a lot of rich people, lives in two houses.
- John Green, Vlogbrothers, Why Does Congress Suck?, 01-01-13
- The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, Young Hope, 04-26-13
- What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay.
- Ellen DeGeneres, The Ellen Show, 05-17-13
- I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturally a dick seems like natural causes to me.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, Natural Causes, 06-07-13
- Slap a mask on a drunk and you're going to have trouble. It's like having a live reenactment of anonymous forum comments.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, Masquerade, 09-09-13
- Nothing like a lot of exercise to make you realize you'd rather be lazy and dead sooner.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, Casting Call, 10-21-13
- Guns don't kill people. People who say "Guns don't kill people" kill people. With guns.
- Rob Delaney, Twitter
- I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
- Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)
- You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way.
- Marvin Minsky
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