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- I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.
- Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966)
- Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
- W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946), in Richard J. Anobile - "Godfrey Daniels"
- The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940), "The Crack-Up" (1936)
- People can have the Model T in any colour--so long as it's black.
- Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)
- Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller (1923 - 1999), "Catch-22"
- Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
- Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984), The Little Foxes, 1939
- There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.
- Arthur Honegger (1892 - 1955)
- A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope (1903 - 2003)
- Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
- Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
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