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- Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942), last words
- Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
- Jane Wagner, Lily Tomlin in "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe"
- Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), Arthur Dent in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
- It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.
- Henry Allen
- Every crowd has a silver lining.
- Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891)
- A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
- Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- John Benfield
- Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
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