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- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
- Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
- Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005)
- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen (1903 - 1978), (Charlie McCarthy)
- History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)
- I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
- Jack Benny (1894 - 1974)
- I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
- Orson Welles (1915 - 1985)
- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
- Art Hoppe
- Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
- I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
- Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
- Unknown, Brigader Lethbridge-Stewart in "Dr. Who"
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