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- The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
- Mel Lazarus
- Two people kissing always look like fish.
- Andy Warhol (1928 - 1987)
- Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
- Professor Irwin Corey (1914 - )
- It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930), Sherlock Holmes in The Copper Beeches
- The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.
- e e cummings (1894 - 1962), on the death of Warren G. Harding, 1923
- I've always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worries and only half the royalties.
- Agatha Christie (1890 - 1976)
- I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've got hundreds of people waiting to abuse me.
- Bill Murray (1950 - ), "Ghostbusters"
- The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)
- If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
- Florynce Kennedy
- At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
- David Sedaris, interview in Louisville Courier-Journal, June 5, 2005
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