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- Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Mark Twain In Eruption
- The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)
- I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
- Jack Handey (1949 - )
- Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, 1999
- My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892
- Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman (1941 - )
- Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
- Terry Pratchett
- When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Mark Twain's Autobiography
- We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Mark Twain's Autobiography
- There are no whole truths; all truths are half- truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.
- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)
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