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- In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
- Robert Byrne
- People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
- Russell Baker (1925 - )
- I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed.
- Frank Deford
- It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
- Abigail Van Buren (1918 - ), (Dear Abby)
- Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
- Charles Kuralt
- Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth!
- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
- Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
- The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
- Mark Russell (1932 - )
- What luck for rulers that men do not think.
- Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)
- It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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