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- If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.
- Jeph Jacques, Questionable Content, She's A Bit of A Pout, author's note, 08-31-11
- Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.
- Randy K. Milholland, Something Positive, 08-23-11
- Destiny is for people who are too lazy to create alternate timelines.
- R. Stevens, Diesel Sweeties, 10-05-11
- School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come.
- Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 10-09-11
- Babies are cool, until you've done everything to do with 'em and you get bored. That's why T.V. shows about babies don't last more than a year.
- Gregory Thomas Garcia, Alan Kirschenbaum, Raising Hope, Burt Rocks, November 30, 2010
- They wouldn't call it falling in love if you didn't get hurt sometimes, but you just pick yourself up and move on.
- Gregory Thomas Garcia, Elijah Aron, Jordan Young, Raising Hope, Cheaters, April 2011
- That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful.
- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961), A Farewell to Arms, 1929
- Either the United States will destroy ignorance or ignorance will destroy the United States.
- W.E.B. Du Bois, Speech at Harpers Ferry, Virginia, August 1906
- There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
- There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability.
- Robert Half
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