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- You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns (1896 - 1996)
- This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
- George Burns (1896 - 1996)
- I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
- George Burns (1896 - 1996)
- The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
- The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.
- Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924), Under Western Eyes, 1911
- How my achievements mock me!
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), Troilus and Cressida, Act IV
- The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
- George Orwell (1903 - 1950), "Politics and the English Language", 1946
- Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben
- Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
- Bob Thaves, "Frank and Ernest", 1982
- Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Henry Kissinger (1923 - )
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