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- I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.
- Anthony Brandt
- The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman.
- Mexican Proverb
- What I spent, is gone; what I kept, I lost; but what I gave away will be mine forever.
- Ethel Percy Andrus
- I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.'
- Ellen DeGeneres
- Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
- Ellen DeGeneres, Newsweek, 04-97, regarding Jerry Falwell's comments
- Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong - normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.
- Ellen DeGeneres, My Point and I Do Have One
- Dating's like going on a job interview. You don't know if you'll get the job, but if you do, you get to see the interviewee naked.
- Waiter Rant, Waiter Rant weblog, 04-18-06
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