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- If you're not scared or angry at the thought of a human brain being controlled remotely, then it could be this prototype of mine is finally starting to work.
- John Alejandro King, My War On Terror!
- Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.
- Jim Morrison (1943 - 1971), No One Here Gets Out Alive
- I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
- Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005)
- An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
- Bill Vaughan
- I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
- Emo Phillips, Neuropsychology: Clinical and Experimental Foundations
- I don't have an English accent because this is what English sounds like when spoken properly.
- James Carr, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
- Equations are the devil's sentences.
- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
- The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.
- Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 02-01-09
- The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred.
- Meredith Willson, The Music Man
- The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.
- Seth MacFarlane, The Family Guy
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