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- Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- Virtue is insufficient temptation.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Understand that legal and illegal are political, and often arbitrary, categorizations; use and abuse are medical, or clinical, distinctions.
- Abbie Hoffman (1936 - 1989), Steal This Urine Test
- My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated, but not signed.
- Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)
- One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856)
- The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.
- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942)
- All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day.
- Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966)
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