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Quotes of the Day
| Date | Authors Included |
| April 30 | Samuel Goldwyn, Peter Drucker, Edith Wharton, Jerry Seinfeld |
| April 29 | Charles M. Schulz, Henrik Tikkanen, Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., John Andrew Holmes |
| April 28 | Alexander Hamilton, Horace Walpole, George Bernard Shaw, Heather Armstrong |
| April 27 | Mickey Mantle, Friedrich Nietzsche, Henny Youngman, Randy K. Milholland |
| April 26 | Farmers' Almanac, Tom Stoppard, Thorstein Veblen, Calvin Trillin |
| April 25 | W. C. Fields, George Jessel, Hermann Hesse, Desmond Morris |
| April 24 | Woody Allen, H. L. Mencken, Slovenian Proverb, Bertrand Russell |
| April 23 | Sue Murphy, Seneca, Orson Welles, Esther Dyson |
| April 22 | Ambrose Bierce, Al Boliska, Alexandre Dumas, Jef Mallett |
| April 21 | Johnny Carson, Harrison Ford, John Lithgow, Leonard Bernstein |
| April 20 | Robert Orben, Marilyn Manson, George Carlin, George Burns |
| April 19 | Isaac Asimov, Mae West, John Ciardi, Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon |
| April 18 | Minna Thomas Antrim, Nancy Astor, Laurence J. Peter, Sir Winston Churchill |
| April 17 | Edward Gibbon, Francois de La Rochefoucauld, G. K. Chesterton, Rob Delaney |
| April 16 | Arthur C. Clarke, Umberto Eco, James Thurber, Kurt Vonnegut |
| April 15 | Elbert Hubbard, Joey Adams, John Gaule, Thomas Szasz |
| April 14 | Eve Babitz, H. L. Mencken, P. J. O'Rourke, Devin J. Monroe |
| April 13 | Will Rogers, Dan Barker, Susan Ertz, Thomas Jefferson |
| April 12 | John Kenneth Galbraith, Oscar Wilde, Ring Lardner, Tom Masson |
| April 11 | Frank Moore Colby, Anatole France, A. J. Liebling, Jules Renard |
| April 10 | Charles Lamb, Friedrich Nietzsche, Cullen Hightower, Mike Myers |
| April 09 | Stephen Leacock, Fred Hoyle, Carl Sagan, Bill Clinton |
| April 08 | Mark Twain, B. F. Skinner, Friedrich von Schiller, Blaise Pascal |
| April 07 | Woody Allen, John A. Wheeler, George Bernard Shaw, Samuel Johnson |
| April 06 | Alexander Pope, Dick Clark, Doug Larson, Dave Barry |
| April 05 | An English Professor, Barry LePatner, Henry James, Dante Gabriel Rossetti |
| April 04 | Sir Thomas Beecham, G. K. Chesterton, William James, Scott Adams |
| April 03 | Benjamin Disraeli, Thomas Babington Macaulay, Erica Jong, Albert Einstein |
| April 02 | Albert Camus, Ted Turner, Henry David Thoreau, George Orwell |
| April 01 | Marcel Proust, Charles F. Kettering, Peter Ustinov, Louis C. K. |
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