A frenzy starts every year at this time in the United States. I like to think that other countries don’t have this problem, but considering that Christmas has been around since the year 336, well before the United States was a glimmer in Spain’s eye, I’m sure other countries endure the madness also. I think there are two things that irritate me the most about this season: traffic and the holiday’s duration.
Trying to go anywhere is compounded with difficulty during the Holiday Season because so many people are out getting Christmas presents, but that irritation is minor compared to the sight of Christmas ornaments and paraphernalia at Halloween time. As I’ve said in the past, Halloween is my favorite holiday. To see it consumed by the Christmas season bothers me to no end. I think that’s why I love the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas by Tim Burton. In that movie, Christmas gets eaten by Halloween, as it should.
The following are some humorous quotes about one of my least favorite holidays.
Introduction and quote compilation by Laura S. Moncur, Staff Writer.
- “In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukka’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukka!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’”
- Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping: A Survivor’s Guide
For more information about Christmas, try these links:
- Christmas Unwrapped – The History Channel’s exhibit on Christmas.
- The following books and tapes are available through Amazon.com:
- The Nightmare Before Christmas VHS Tape – This masterpiece of animation from the mind of Tim Burton tells the tale of Jack, the Pumpkin King and resident of Halloween Town. In an effort to show his fellow citizens the wonders of Christmas, he steals Christmas and kidnaps Santa. The perfect revenge for a holiday that has already consumed Thanksgiving and is well on the way to eating another, beloved holiday. Great price from Amazon.com for $13.49!
- 4000 Years of Christmas : A Gift from the Ages Hardcover by Earl W. Count, Alice Lawson Count, Dan Wakefield (Introduction) – A historical look at this holiday and its pagan origins.
- The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Hardcover by Barbara Robinson – This is considered a children’s book, and in fact, that’s when I read it, but it is such a wonderful story, that I feel compelled to recommend it. The Herdmans are a family of miscreants who had never heard about the Christmas story, yet take over the Christmas pageant. Despite the worries of the church-going folk, it turns out to be just as the title implies. Placing myself in the role of the Herdman family (we didn’t celebrate Christmas when I was a child), I cried when I read this book.
- New Wave Christmas Audio Music CD by Various Artists – Great Christmas music for the few of us that enjoyed the music of the eighties. It includes: Mary Xmess by Sun 60, Shouldn’t Have Given Him a Gun for Christmas by Wall of Voodoo and, my favorite, One Christmas Catalogue [Too Many] by Captain Sensible. I went to every record store in the city searching for this thing last year, but you can get it from Amazon.com for $8.39.
- I Hate Bloody Christmas! – A well-written treatise on the decadence and uselessness of the holiday. It is difficult to read because of the oddly colored background, but aside from that, a perfect Bah Humbug proving that Great Britain has the same problems as the United States.
- Christmas in NYC – A bare-faced look at the commercialism and decadence of a holiday gone mad.