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- Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure hell won't be so bad at all.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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