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- Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.)
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
- I have done some indiscreet things in my day, but this thing of playing myself for a prophet was the worst. Still, it had its ameliorations. A prophet doesn't have to have any brains. They are good to have, of course, for the ordinary exigencies of life, but they are no use in professional work. It is the restfulest vocation there is. When the spirit of prophecy comes upon you, you merely take your intellect and lay it off somewhere in a cool place for a rest, and unship your jaw and leave it alone; it will work itself. The result is prophecy.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
- Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), A Curious Dream (1872)
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