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- George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not even lie.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
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