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- If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
- Dave Barry (1947 - )
- Never date a woman you can hear ticking.
- Mark Patinkin
- For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941)
- There was a young woman named Jenny,
Whose limericks weren't worth a penny. Her rhythm and rhyme Were perfectly fine But whenever she tried to write any, She always had one line too many. - Anonymous
- The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance of the woman.
- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850)
- A woman's place is in the wrong.
- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
- No man should marry before he has studied anatomy and dissected the body of a woman.
- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850)
- A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on.
- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
- 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
- W.C. Fields
- The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is begged by the woman.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
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