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- The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
- Benny Hill
- Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less in human beings of whom they know nothing.
- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
- Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005)
- Being a newspaper columnist is like marrying a nymphomaniac - It's great for the first two weeks.
- Lewis Grizzard
- The major sin is the sin of being born.
- Samuel Beckett (1906 - 1989)
- The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
- I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor.
- Roger Moore (1927 - )
- In the mirrorlike relationship between wine and human beings, Zinfandel owned more reflective properties than any other grape; in its infinite mutability, it was capable of expressing almost any philosophical position or psychological function. As a result, its own "true" nature might never be known.
- David Darlington, from his novel Angels Visits: An Inquiry into the Mystery of Zinfandel
- Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )
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