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- One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
- Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!
- Theophile Gautier
- The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal
- Sir Compton MacKenzie
- When I was in therapy about two years ago, one day I noticed that I hadn't had any children. And I like children at a distance. I wondered if I'd like them up close. I wondered why I didn't have any. I wondered if it was a mistake, or if I'd done it on purpose, or what. And I noticed my therapist didn't have any children either. He had pictures of his cats on the wall. Framed.
- Spalding Gray, from Swimming to Cambodia: The collected works of Spalding Gray
- If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), when asked to describe radio
- Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.
- Alan Holbrook
- Monty Python's usual schoolboy humour is here let loose on a period of history appropriately familiar to every schoolboy in the West, and a faith which could be shaken by such good-humoured ribaldry would be a very precarious faith indeed.
- The British Board Of Film Censors, in their report on _Life of Brian_
- ...that people often say about Him: "I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God." That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic--on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg--or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
- C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963), from _Mere_Christianity_
- I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
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