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- What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- The house does not rest upon the ground, but upon a woman.
- Mexican Proverb
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