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- When any two young people take it into their heads to marry, they are pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point, be they ever so poor, or ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort.
- Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Persuasion, 1818
- Ruminating about the past is like trying to drive backward to undo a car accident.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- When you get angry at your ex, only about 10 percent of your anger can be attributed to the current situation. The other 90 percent comes from your past experiences with your ex, as well as those with your parents, caregivers, and other significant people in your past. The current situation has simply triggered your past anger and allowed it to resurface. It’s been said that if you’re hysterical, the cause is probably historical.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- When you own or take responsibility for your feelings, you place yourself in a position of power and control.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- When you understand that your feelings are triggered by what you think about an event and not by the event itself, you gain a measure of control. Although you cannot control the things (events) that happen to you, or change your feelings (after all, you feel the way you feel), you can change your thoughts. A change in thoughts often radically alters your feelings.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- If you continue to expend your energy trying to change things that don’t really matter in the long run or that are not within your sphere of influence, you’ll wind up exhausted and frustrated, with no positive results to show for your effort.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- When a problem can’t be solved, an attitude of acceptance makes room in your mind and heart for solutions to the problems that do need to be solved.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- Taking responsibility gives us power and control, because when we recognize the relationship between our choices and their consequences, then the next time we don’t like a consequence we can make a different choice.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- When we make assumptions, we contribute to the complexity rather than the simplicity of a problem, making it more difficult to solve.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
- Being manipulative is dishonest and immature. We often end up having to make up more lies to cover for inconsistencies in our original manipulation. In addition, it sets a terrible example for our children. While it may solve your initial problem, the tangled web that grows from such dishonesty is more trouble than it’s worth.
- Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
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