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- Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
- Lily Tomlin (1939 - )
- Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
- Richter cartoon caption
- I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- I improve on misquotation.
- Cary Grant (1904 - 1986)
- Partying is such sweet sorrow.
- Robert Byrne
- Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
- Franklin P. Jones
- Exit, pursued by a bear.
- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), Stage direction in "The Winter's Tale"
- I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935), quoted in Saturday Review, Aug. 25, 1962
- I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.
- E. M. Forster (1879 - 1970), as a small child
- The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
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