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- Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible.
- Stanislaw Lem (1921 - 2006)
- Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
- Dave Barry (1947 - )
- Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.
- Dave Barry (1947 - ), "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do"
- Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
- Dave Barry (1947 - ), "The Taming of the Screw"
- I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
- Dave Barry (1947 - )
- The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
- Dave Barry (1947 - ), "The Taming of the Screw"
- A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626)
- With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
- Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
- David T. Wolf (1943 - )
- Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed.
- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
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