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- Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )
- Socrates seems to be the philosophical napkin with which the ensuing cultural thinkers of history wipe their mouths of pedantic ooze.
- Unknown
- I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)
- Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Very few things happen at the right time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.
- Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC)
- Our ignorance of history makes us libel our own times. People have always been like this.
- Gustave Flaubert (1821 - 1880)
- Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978)
- Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- When there are two conflicting versions of a story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
- H. Allen Smith
- A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
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