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- Why yes - a bulletproof vest.
- James Rodges, a murderer, on his final request before the firing squad
- The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
- John W. Gardner (1912 - 2002)
- Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O'Rourke
- ...in the lexicon of the political class, the word "sacrifice" means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it.
- George Will - Newsweek, 2/22/93
- A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition.
- Earl of Kent, _The_Tragedy_of_King_Lear_
- A self-balancing, 28-jointed adaptor-based biped; an electro-chemical reduction plant, integral with segregated stowages of special energy extracts in storage batteries, for subsequent actuation of thousands of hydraulic and pneumatic pumps, with motors attached; 62,000 miles of capillaries....
- R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983)
- Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004)
- The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
- Ann Landers (1918 - 2002)
- I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.
- Barbara Bush (1925 - )
- Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses 2. Frequent sighing 3. Moved, left no forwarding address. - Matt Groening (1954 - )
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