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- The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
- Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it.
- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)
- Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
- Jack Paar
- Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein.
- Guindon cartoon caption
- France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams.
- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
- The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
- Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.
- Miyamoto Musashi, 1645
- Clergyman, n. - A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
- Billy Wilder (1906 - 2002)
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