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- Christian, n. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Screenwriters? Schmucks with Underwoods.
- Jack Warner
- We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- Obscenity is what happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate.
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
- It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it.
- Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine
- It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell
- We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore.
- Francois De La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)
- There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking.
- Mary Lowry in the Pacific Sun, November 15, 1985
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