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- A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella.
- David Nicholls, One Day, 2010
- Friends were like clothes: fine while they lasted but eventually they wore thin or you grew out of them.
- David Nicholls, One Day, 2010
- There's something unnatural about a woman finding babies or, more specifically, conversation about babies, boring. They'll think she's bitter, jealous, lonely. But she's also bored of everybody telling her how lucky she is, what with all that sleep and all that freedom and spare time, the ability to go on dates or head off to Paris at a moments notice. It sounds like they're consoling her, and she resents this and feels patronized by it.
- David Nicholls, One Day, 2010
- Maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few jokes.
- David Nicholls, One Day, 2010
- Fahrenheit 451 is one of those books that is about how amazing books are and how amazing the people who write books are. Writers love writing books like this, and for some reason, we let them get away with it.
- Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, 2009
- It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.
- Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, 2009
- I am amused when goody-goodies proclaim, from the safety of their armchairs, that children are naturally prejudice-free, that they only learn to "hate" from listening to bigoted adults. Nonsense. Tolerance is a learned trait, like riding a bike or playing the piano. Those of us who actually live among children, who see them in their natural environment, know the truth: Left to their own devices, children will gang up on and abuse anyone who is even slightly different from the norm.
- Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, 2009
- It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you.
- Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, 2009
- Important days don't look like anything special when they start. Invariably, the sun rises and people wake up. Coffee is swilled and eggs are swallowed. Everybody goes about the business of acting like their lives matter and then, no matter how important the events of the day end up being, the sun invariably sets. The sun rose before the soldiers stormed Omaha Beach on D-Day, and the sun set after Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed. Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.
- Josh Lieb, I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, 2009
- When a man is ready to marry, he is often not too particular about the lady.
- Eucharista Ward, Match For Mary Bennet, 2009
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