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- Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
- Dave Barry (1947 - )
- The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'
- Roy Blount Jr.
- If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.
- Joe Martin, Mister Boffo
- The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
- Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )
- If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
- Bradley's Bromide
- And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Earl Mac Rauch, from "Buckaroo Bansai"
- All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.
- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902), Notebooks, 1912
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
- George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
- I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
- George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
- Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
- George Carlin (1937 - 2008)
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