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- I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Satchel Paige (1906 - 1982)
- People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.
- Heather Armstrong, Dooce, 07-07-06
- Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
- Aaron McGruder, The Boondocks, 07-10-2001
- To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
- Never tell anyone that you're writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death.
- Lynn Johnston (1947 - ), For Better or For Worse, 07-15-06
- Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
- It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
- Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
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