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- How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)
- One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007), "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004
- History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.
- Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)
- Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007), Interview, Mcsweeneys.net
- The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), Ecce Homo, Foreword
- A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), The Gay Science, section 41
- The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), The Gay Science, section 191
- Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
- Ellen DeGeneres
- My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004)
- I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004)
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