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- Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst.
- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930)
- To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention.
- Kelvin Throop
- When anyone asks me how I can best describe my experience in nearly forty years at sea, I merely say, uneventful. Of course there have been winter gales, and storms and fog and the like. But in all my experience, I have never been in any accident... or any sort worth speaking about. I have seen but one vessel in distress in all my years at sea. I never saw a wreck and never have been wrecked nor was I ever in any predicament that threatened to end in disaster of any sort.
- E. J. Smith, 1907, Captain, RMS Titanic
- The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.
- Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King
- The ocean is a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
- Bill Vaughan
- A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.
- Walter Bagehot (1826 - 1877)
- Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.
- Philip Guedalla (1889 - 1944)
- Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
- The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.
- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
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