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- Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- Reason and Justice tell me that there is more love of man in electricity and steam, than in chastity and refusal to eat meat.
- Chekov of Tolstoy
- Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
- Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- It is often pleasant to stone a martyr, no matter how much we admire him.
- John Barth (1930 - )
- Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937)
- Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
- While you're saving your face you're losing your ass.
- Lyndon Baines Johnson
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