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- Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- What if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania'...or 'teria'.
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
- I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
- Matt Groening (1954 - ), The Simpsons
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