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- All phone calls are obscene.
- Karen Elizabeth Gordon
- I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
- Richard Diran
- Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
- I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
- Edward Chilton
- Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
- The purpose of life is to fight maturity.
- Dick Werthimer
- All the world's a cage.
- Jeanne Phillips
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998)
- Children are all foreigners.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
- The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980)
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