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- Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)
- Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
- Charles Lamb (1775 - 1834)
- McCabe's Law: Nobody _has_ to do _anything_.
- Charles McCabe
- In this business you either sink or swim or you don't.
- David Smith
- Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
- Spike Milligan, from "The Goon Show"
- One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970), Conquest of Happiness (1930) ch. 5
- I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
- Tom Lehrer (1928 - )
- I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
- We are drawn to our television sets each April the way we are drawn to the scene of an accident.
- Vincent Canby, on the Academy Awards
- Go, and never darken my towels again.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
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