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- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3
- Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
- Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz, Anger in the Sky
- Mustard's no good without roast beef.
- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961)
- My toughest fight was with my first wife.
- Muhammad Ali (1942 - )
- Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
- Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
- Henry Kissinger (1923 - )
- Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968)
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