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- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)
- Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
- Gallagher
- Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
- Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
- Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)
- Every hero becomes a bore at last.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
- Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
- Arthur Miller (1915 - 2005)
- Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988), "The Peter Principle"
- That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)
- There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956), Prejudices: Second Series, 1920
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