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- A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.
- Tennessee Williams (1911 - 1983), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1955)
- Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock (1869 - 1944)
- After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)
- After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
- Ronnie Shakes
- I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.
- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), upon being told the cost of an operation
- All general statements are false.
- Unknown, The Ultimate Law
- All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
- Bobby Knight (1940 - )
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