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- The worshiper is the father of the gods.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Christian, n. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Opera, n. A play representing life in another world whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures, and no postures but attitudes.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Spring makes everything look filthy.
- Katherine Whitehorn
- The Irish are a fair people - they never speak well of one another.
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
- I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation.
- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
- Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- Very few things happen at the right time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.
- Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC)
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