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- Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- The woman who cannot tell a lie in defense of her husband is unworthy of the name of wife.
- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
- Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive.
- Thorstein Veblen (1857 - 1929)
- Anybody who thinks of going to bed before 12 o'clock is a scoundrel.
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
- Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
- William Feather (1908 - 1976)
- Most people enjoy the inferiority of their friends.
- Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773)
- Working in the theater has a lot in common with unemployment.
- Arthur Gingold
- It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.
- Jack Warner, on hearing that Ronald Reagan had been elected governor of California
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