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- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- What's another word for Thesaurus?
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
- The first time I ever read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything.
- Steven Wright (1955 - ), stand-up
- I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.
- Steven Wright (1955 - ), Stand-up
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Steven Wright (1955 - )
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