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- Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
- Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
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