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- APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
If I were a jolly archbishop, On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up -- Salmon and flounders and smelts; On other days everything else. Jodo Rem - Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts -- guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.
- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
- ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.
God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. _The Unauthorized Version_ - Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary
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