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Woody Allen (1935 - )
US movie actor, comedian, & director [more author details]

Showing quotations 11 to 30 of 42 total

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.: Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.: Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.: Woody Allen
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Atheism]
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [God]
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.: Woody Allen
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Death]
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.: Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.: Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Life]
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Life]
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Money]
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.: Woody Allen
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.: Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.: Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.: Woody Allen
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Death]
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.: Woody Allen
- More quotations on: [Crime]
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.: Woody Allen
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.: Woody Allen

Showing quotations 11 to 30 of 42 total

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