Quotations by Author
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Showing quotations 1 to 17 of 17 total
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- Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- Steven Wright
- Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
- Steven Wright
- I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- Steven Wright
- I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright
- I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
- Steven Wright
- I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
- Steven Wright
- If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
- Steven Wright
- It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
- Steven Wright
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
- Steven Wright
- Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
- Steven Wright
- Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
- Steven Wright
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- Steven Wright
- My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
- Steven Wright
- There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
- Steven Wright
- What's another word for Thesaurus?
- Steven Wright
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
- Steven Wright
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Steven Wright
- 33 Quotations in other collections
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Search for Steven Wright at Amazon.com
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Showing quotations 1 to 17 of 17 total
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