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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran
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A problem isnít a problem until it actually happens.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Allowing children to fight their own battles is one of the hardest parenting skills to learn.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Any time and energy you spend hating and being angry at your ex will ultimately take a toll on you without effecting any positive changes in your ex or your relationship.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Being manipulative is dishonest and immature. We often end up having to make up more lies to cover for inconsistencies in our original manipulation. In addition, it sets a terrible example for our children. While it may solve your initial problem, the tangled web that grows from such dishonesty is more trouble than itís worth.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Blaming another person for a problem often keeps us from examining the different possibilities that may underlie the issue.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Children should feel loved because they exist, not because theyíve behaved in a certain way.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Children will adapt to nearly any rule or routine as long as it is consistently enforced within that particular household.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Fostering a spirit of cooperation with your ex means laying down your weapons in the war of divorce in order to protect your children.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Guilt is helpful only when it keeps us acting in line with our beliefs and morals. Otherwise, it creates needless suffering.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
If you continue to expend your energy trying to change things that donít really matter in the long run or that are not within your sphere of influence, youíll wind up exhausted and frustrated, with no positive results to show for your effort.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Itís helpful to imagine your relationship with him or her as a business relationship rather than a personal one. Just as you wouldnít share that youíre feeling fat, ugly, and depressed with a client or tell her that youíve just met the love of your life and youíve never been happier, these thoughts and feelings should be kept to yourself and not shared with your ex. Finally, as in any good business relationship, be honest and prepared to deliver what you promise.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Ruminating about the past is like trying to drive backward to undo a car accident.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Sending important messages via text is the cowardís way out. Donít be the person who texts important messages. Itís rude, inconsiderate, and, yes, cowardly.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Taking responsibility gives us power and control, because when we recognize the relationship between our choices and their consequences, then the next time we donít like a consequence we can make a different choice.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
The point is that no matter what your feelings are, your children will be better off if you make them your central focus and work diligently at keeping the parenting relationship civil and cooperative.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
Trust that your child is trying to be the best he can be and that he will do this more readily without your criticism. Know that he usually sees his own faults without you continually pointing them out.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
When a problem canít be solved, an attitude of acceptance makes room in your mind and heart for solutions to the problems that do need to be solved.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
When children feel they have to earn our love by what they accomplish, they never feel good about themselves, no matter how much they do, no matter what their age. Indeed, some adults work outrageous hours, make huge salaries, and always strive to accomplish more and yet are never satisfied, no matter what they have achieved. This is because they were never given the free, unconditional love of their parents, the love that is every childís birthright.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
When we make assumptions, we contribute to the complexity rather than the simplicity of a problem, making it more difficult to solve.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011
When you get angry at your ex, only about 10 percent of your anger can be attributed to the current situation. The other 90 percent comes from your past experiences with your ex, as well as those with your parents, caregivers, and other significant people in your past. The current situation has simply triggered your past anger and allowed it to resurface. Itís been said that if youíre hysterical, the cause is probably historical.
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Julie A., M.A. Ross and Judy Corcoran, Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex, 2011

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